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| OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I MISS XANGA BUT IT SOOOOOOOOOOOOO CONFUSES ME!!!!!!
OK, so.......................um..............idk what to say so..........
GO TO MY DEVIANTART ACCOUT!!!!!
www.mitsunai-kun.deaviantart.com
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| Xanga is soooo advanced now....O.O
Here's how I feel:
The world pisses on you one year and then smiles at you the next.
I don't understand it.
Last year was a bad year for, lost my dad and all that jazz. I was depressed all last year, but I acted happy go lucky. I was even pissed a lot last year, with people telling me every time I turned around that they had heard I was a bitch.
Really, honest to GOD, it hurt.
But that's not the reason for this rant.
The reason is I'm happy....but at the same time a bit paranoid.....
It's hard to say what it is exactly, but I'm afraid I'll fuck up again this year. That I'll do something stupid and the world'll punish me for it. So when I'm around my friends I act happy and jovial, but I don't tell them I feel disconnected from them....I still feel like they're moving on, leaving me, and I'm stuck right here, looking around like a lost puppy, thinking: What about me you guys? I don't know what's going on....let me in..... That scares me a lot....
And people I don't know are coming up and talking to me or touching me. Of course, I speak when I talk to them, but the whole time I'm really uncomfortable in my skin and I'm thinking: I don't know you.....but you know me....What do I say to you? How do I approach asking how you know me....? Why are you talking to me...? Are you going to talk trash about me when I turn my back...? And the touching part, an example is today. A girl named Mindy, that's all I know about her other than who her boyfriend is, walked past me at lunch today and poked me in my sides. I don't like people touching my sides...makes me real uncomfortable and edgy, but I hid that and just looked at her as she walked away saying "Yes" or "Yay," I don't know exactly, I can't recall what she said...I was thinking What was that for....? Are you trying to pick on me....? Do you want something from me....?
And my art; I'm back up with artists block right now but I have five pieces I must absolutely draw. Why? I love the people they're for. I have two that I really need to get done asap. One, because his birthday was HALLOWEEN. Two, because she helped me out with some things. But damned artist's block had to pile up on writer's block.
Speaking of writer's block, I have two fanfics the people on ff.net want me to update but I can't. My mind went dry. And just when I finally started Pin Me!, writer's block sat in on me.
I hate having writer's block and artist's block. It makes me feel empty, just like feeling disconnected from the world does.
I dunno; I just.....I suppose I don't get along with anyone? Maybe I shouldn't have any friends or anything....since I'm not as close to them as I though....
Anything in Italics are highlighted and in white because it wouldn't show up other wise....
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| commenting so they don't shut me down. :(
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| The World by Nightmare is an awesome song. Death Note is an awesome anime. But anyways. . . I know I spelled "existed" wrong. . .twice. WTF ever. Lost my BFF of 12 years a month ago. Was pissed she didn't tell me to my face that she didn't want to be my friend. But now I don't mind; Now I won't have anyone call the house and say: "Hey, you're daughter wants to kill herself. Please talk to her." Sweet; no problems stopping me when I go suicidal this year. It's almost time for that. Well, that's it. Peace and blood. ~Squeaky_Kitsune | | |
| ZOMG I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LOVE TEH NEW RASCAL FLATTS ALBUM!!!! *squeals excitedly and bobs head with "Bob that Head"* X3 It's got to be their BEST album yet!!!! I lurve this country group. . . . . .Yes. . . . .I like country music.
CROSSDRESSING! X3 It was opposite day at school! I would have soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo done it, but, female problems prevented it. *pouts and huffs and crosses arms* And I really, really, really wanted to. . . .But anyways! So many guys in dresses and skirts! This boy that sits in front of me in algebra II named Gary sooooo would have made a cute uke for some kick-ass bishie guy. But the other guys. . . . .were too beefy for the look. owO And they weren't wearing ANYTHING under those skirts! EWWWW! At least they kept their legs closed. lol
And the CHIBI!!!! <3 My friend Tyler wants me to draw my uke character Mahatin in chibi form as fluffy yaoi-ness!!!! And I already have it planned! It'll be a four pannel comic thing with a pic of what he does in the morning, at noon, in the evening, and at night. It's soooo cute in my head! <3
OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!! And my new bestest bestest bestest BEST friend Josie is comming to my house tomorrow!!!!!!! To do a project. . . .but we'll goof off some too. I can't wait to hang out with her outside of school with her again! ^w^ Which reminds me off when I gave her six year old nephew an atomic wegdgie. . . .I litteraly lifted him up off the floor by his underwear! lol Poor little guy. The first time he was asking for it, bothering me. The second time was just for the hell of it, but he laughed so hard both times. But anyway, Josie is AWESOME! I couldn't ask for a sweeter friend.
My grades are AWESOME so far too!!! They're as follows:
Algebra II CP- 94
Chemistry CP- 89
Comp. Apps.- 98
English III CP- 86
My English grade was in the 90's, but the 30 on the summer reading test I had brought it down. >wO My rank in my class is 35 of 274!!! ^w^ I'm soooo proud of myself!!!! And here I thought I was STUPID!
OMFG!!! Harry Potter 7 was AWESOME-PWN-NESS!!!! It's the best of them all in my opinion! ^w^ Though I almost cried when Snape died. ;w; He was one of my favorite characters! Protecting Harry because he loved Lily so very much. . . .poor guy. . . .I SHOULD JOIN A SNAPE CLUB!!!!!! I thought it was funny when George lost an ear though. lol
Well; That's about all I've got sooo. . .laters! <3
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